UV4 Smile

In a operation theatre Patient : Doctor saab, hospital mein kab tak rukna padeha...? Doctor : Ahar operation thik hua toh ek week... Nahin toh aadha ghanta...!! An applicant to his new Boss. "Sir, I always give 100% at work!" Boss: "Oh, and how do you manage it ?" Applicant replies: "Sir, 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday!"

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, "So, you were at school today, right?" Son : "Yeah." Lie Detector : "Beep, he said a lie." Son : "Ok, Ok,I was in a cinema." Lie Detector : Beep, till he is lier." Son : "Alright, I went for a beer with my friends." Father : "What?! At your age, I wouldn't touch alcohol!!." Lie Detector : "Beep, you are also lier." Mother Laughs : "Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!" Lie Detector " "Beep, She is also lier."

Wife: I'm already 48, yet, one of your friend still prises and finds me attractive. Husband: Must be that suresh bhai !! Wife: Exactly ! How did you know?? Husband: He's a "scrap dealer...."

Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: "Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn't work, then gently with a hammer." 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: "Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone."

Doctor: I have found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.  Patient: Great, how often do I have to take it? Doctor: Every two hours.

In case of an emergency, speak only in English.  Never say prayers in any other language.  You never know what kind of translation problem u can run into.  Sharma in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.  Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.  When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?' They replied "Because he kept saying, 'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!' 😝😝😝 This one is awesome.... 😜😜😜